We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in. ~Will Rogers
Self-Esteem: Your Child’s Armor Against Danger
As parents, we fear the worst for our children. We see an imperfect world,
where strangers and circumstances can discourage, frighten, harm, or endanger
our little ones. But kids need not be plagued with thoughts of a dangerous world,
and parents shouldn’t feel the need to create a protective bubble around them.
The best defense is to empower kids with a boost of confidence and how-to-deal
skills when facing possible dangers.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about
ourselves, or our ‘self perceptions.’ How we define ourselves influences our
motivations, attitudes, and behaviors, and affects our emotional judgment.
Self-esteem includes other qualities, such as self-confidence, pride,
independence, self-reliance, and self-respect. Experts say we develop our selfesteem
during childhood, and it constantly evolves as we are shaped by the
different social interactions and experiences we go through.
Enhancing a child’s self-esteem is the first step to ensuring his or her right
to personal safety. Keeping children away from physical harm is only secondary.
Programs have been developed to teach children self-protective skills, and
families recognize and respond to potentially unsafe situations. Children who are
conscious of their self-worth feel good about themselves, pulling out all the stops
to any sign of threat or danger. Moreover, self-esteem develops the same
positive communication skills and attitudes, which children could pass on to the
next generation.
A child’s self-esteem is based on a positive relationship with parents and
eventually teachers. Parents can foster that can-do attitude in their children with
a “Wow!” or a “That’s great!” every time they accomplish a feat. These positive
comments form children’s first concept of success, which ultimately leads to a
healthy self-perception.
But praise and positive reinforcement alone will not make children feel
better automatically. Providing them with lots of love, care, and understanding is
equally significant. Children who are happy and confident may still experience
low self-esteem because they do not feel loved. Likewise, children who are loved
and pampered at home may still feel inadequate and incompetent, thus ending
up with low self-esteem. Hence, a balance of both should be present.
Delivering positive messages and engaging in constructive communication
lead to a healthy self-perception.
Try these time-tested tips to enhance your child’s can-do attitude.
1. Limit the “Don’ts” to the barest minimum.
State your requests positively. Too many negative words in your
sentences will only lead to a child’s self doubt.
2. Let kids complete their sentences.
Avoid interruptions, as these disrupt their train of thought or make them
forget what they’re saying. Otherwise, they’ll feel as if their ideas are
insignificant and not worth listening to.
3. Establish eye contact.
Be a good model of conversation by giving kids your full attention. This
communicates that you are interested in what they are saying, and that you
are stressing a noteworthy idea, as well.
4. Take turns in the conversation.
Agree on who speaks first, and who speaks next. It is important for
parents to encourage kids to verbalize their ideas and feelings, but to also
wait for the go signal to speak. Children should be able to understand that if
people talk all at the same time, they will end up understanding nothing.
5. Keep a calm, uncritical, and non-irritable manner when explaining.
Keep your “speech” concise. Use language that kids will easily
understand, explaining to them what they need to do, and why they should or
should not do it. Speaking in a calm tone also keeps panic from rising within them.
6. Criticisms should still be present.
We should also take notice of shortcomings or misbehavior as we see it or
learn about it. Explain why an action is not acceptable, and allow kids to think
of ways to avoid doing it again.