It is only when the mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Get into Character
Here are key points to help parents effectively wield positive reinforcement:Select and define the deed. Be clear on what is acceptable or nonacceptable behavior at home. Provide observable, measurable progress by specifying which behavior you want the child to repeat. Refrain from giving abstract directives. Instead of “Behave while eating” say “Sit on
your chair, do not play with your utensils, and tidy up your eating area after eating the food.”
Choose your reinforcers. Reinforcers must be appropriate for – and as valuable as – the behavior. They should match the child’s age, abilities, and the effort required to earn them. Kids have individual preferences. A reinforcer that is not significant to your child will bear no value. For example, preschool children will like getting stickers and hugs, while teenagers may prefer getting an extended curfew. Timing is everything. Consistency is the key. Make it routine for your children. It helps them internalize rules and expectations. Also, immediately reinforce good behavior. The shorter the delay between the behavior and reinforcer, the greater the chance of strengthening the behavior. When reinforcing a new skill, reinforce continuously. Once the behavior has been established in the child, then you can gradually delay and decrease reinforcements.
Be diverse. Varying reinforcers prevents satiation in a child. Use your imagination to come up with different reinforcers. Opt for assorted nonmaterial reinforcers. You will be surprised that not all kids want material things as reinforcers. Hugs, pats on the back, and words have equal, if not more, significance to them.
Complement praise with encouragement. Pairing reinforcers with words of
praise and encouragement works best to retain or repeat a good behavior.
Praise usually denotes the person, and some judgment is made on him or
her. Encouragement is taking notice of the behavior or action, instead of
the person. An example of praise is “You’re a good girl” while “I like the way you
helped the lady carry her bag,” are words of encouragement. By using
words of praise and encouragement, it puts recognition and meaning to
one’s presence and work.